I think you’re right that if you are in a situation like this as a host, you should have something short, simple, and clear like “maximum stay: 3 days” written under your “home” section somewhere. I do agree with others though that just writing it out however you see fit in one of the existing fields is probably best.
I think there are several different ways to approach this sort of situation as a host that are in the “spirit of hospitality,” and I generally trust well-intentioned adults to find solutions that seem fair to all involved.
I’m always glad to hear what’s actually happening out there in day-to-day Coucher interactions. If any guests/hosts find themselves in situations like this regularly, I would love to hear how it goes. What did the host say to the guests? How did they respond? etc. I think the forum is the perfect place to hear about that sort of thing so we can all learn from it, even if you believe it might be stretching the guidelines a little.
I know as a host I never want my guests to feel coerced into doing something, especially handing over money. Personally, I try really hard to decline pretty much anything my guests try to give me, as I find that just makes things simpler. If my landlord was charging me some kind of fee for having guests, I would just pay it and never let my guests know about it. I wouldn’t want them to feel they owe me or something.
But at the same time I know as a guest, I mostly just don’t want any surprises. If a host explained the situation to me honestly, and I wound up really needing to stay past those three days, I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to offer some money. I mean I already know the place is great, and it’s cheaper than a hostel? Why not!
Personally, I think we just need to be careful not to create a culture where that sort of thing is typical. Like if guests are starting to ask themselves, “So is this still couch surfing? or just some clever freemium gateway drug for Airbnb rentals?” that’s probably not ideal. The world already has plenty of ways to find a place to stay for a fee. Let’s make sure Couchers remains a fee-free alternative to that kind of thing.
Personally I had no direct experiences, because it never occurred me, but I was sensibilized to this when some neighbors complained about me having too many guests and so wearing more than average the stairs and entrance, requiring more frequent clean, so someone proposed I should pay more for that. Someone had another kind of complaint and being also the only one with a ‘big’ family (where counting by the number would have made him the biggest payer) told that “there are laws that limit the number of guests you can have” and all agreed.
I read that laws and found that i can have up to 17 guests for 2 days, 9 for 182 days and 7 unlimited, but I have to pay extra only if someone stay for more than 182 days in one year (or 90 continuous) so the question ended there (and the extra is less than 30€/year); in other places the share of cleaning costs for common area is not divided as here according a [municipal] law [91.7% surface of flat, 8.3% number of occupants] but by contract and is not infrequent that such expenses are 50-50 or even 20-80 and number of occupant is counted monthly or weekly. So I never had this problem (on the contrary: the single highest cost having guests is washing beddings, so more time they stay the lower the cost) , but knowing the fact , and knowing many people that told me about their problem on hosting people i cared, and when someone told me about his problem in inviting people, because if they stay more than 24 hours would have to pay an additional week of cleaning i tried to have here an opinion.
So actually i did not know of any “answer”. I only know that two of them set an hard limit on hosting people, and no one asked them more than 2 day, and another one just di not advertised him as able to host, and when requested explained the case.
I’m happy to offer a place to freeloaders and think it’s a great feature of this platform that people with low income can freeload. But I respect that others think otherwise and don’t want freeloaders to build up a similar expectation towards future hosts. Take away lesson I got from this topic is that being explicit about your expectations is a best practice. I added this text to my profile:
I’m on this platform to contribute to an alternative to capitalist tourism. Please don’t bring me presents if I host you. It makes me feel like hospitality is an exchange, which I believe it is not, and I’m uncomfortable with the environmental effects of this kind of consumption. I’m open to host people at my house who just want a free place to stay. I hope you’ll be able to give hospitality without exchange to someone else. But if your situation does not allow that, I’m accepting of behaviour that some people call ‘freeloading’. However, many other people on this platform are not and that’s their good right! Please be aware that expectations from this platform vary and communication is key. I recommend being explicit about your goals and expectations of hosts and guests on your profile and in your requests.
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I’m completely open to people who “need” a free place to stay. What is a freeloader anyway? It’s someone who offers nothing. They are consumers, they are a passive audience and expect to be entertained. They’re not interesting, they’re not doing anything interesting or socially positive, are greedy, focus only on money, on themselves, their pleasure and anything free, it’s a game to them, and they “win” the more they can take. For “free.”
I’m just a means to an end, to clean up, provide food, and fulfill personal requirements. How is that not exploitation, the heart of capitalism? So take take take. In what world is that rewarding to me?
Someone here had the best take. As a surfer, you don’t want any surprises. That’s why I have rules. I think I have a pretty nice place for “free” and I don’t need people treating it and me with disrespect, which is what people do with “free” things. Imposing the “cost” of following rules with the opposite of a hotel experience will discourage this kind of surfer I hope!
I feel hosts who are all in for any and all comers are male and have low standards. They don’t care if things are ruined, food and drink took, host’s possessions are treated indifferently at best. Regardless of income status, men almost always (don’t at me) have more funds and options, and the things they have to replace don’t cost much and are easy to get.
What is hospitality? it’s to make your guest feel comfortable, welcome, and at ease. Pretending money doesn’t exist or there isn’t a cost is foolish and just sets you up for abuse from those who are well aware of the price of others’ generosity. Believe me, they’ve calculated down to the penny how much more they get to spend on themselves and have zero intention of sharing it in any way to make their hosts’ lives easier. To make hosts feel good about hosting!!!
Bad surfers are incapable of gratitude, which is an insult. If you were a human being, you would do everything you could to show thanks, “even” without filthy lucre. Whether a gracious host will accept is up to them.
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